


Holocene

by montes-carpatus (Carpathyah)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Emotional Baggage, F/F, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 17:04:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4229859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carpathyah/pseuds/montes-carpatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The earth had evolved and her heart was stuck on stop. A ticking clock with a broken arm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holocene

**Author's Note:**

> .. and at once I knew I was not magnificent.  
>  Inspired by: Holocene by Bon Iver

Sunrise was destined to bring warmth to any room. Sunrise existed to bring forth the new day, a new time, and form new memories and leave the night behind in the shadows of the moon. Her hair was a golden curtain upon her pillow and it twinkled as she woke up from her slumber.   


She had become accustomed to the other side being as cold and empty as the look in her eyes when she spoke to her. She moved her feet and pulled them away, feeling how cold the sheets really were. Her lace nightgown could only bring memories and she never knew why she kept wearing it.   


She prepared her coffee the way she did. Cream, and sugar, to dull the taste of the bitterness that lingered in her mouth and her heart. The black mug contrasted to the light colour transformation and she would prefer it that way for she wouldn’t be looking at the portable version of an endless abyss.   


It would be the last night she would return, she had told herself plenty of times before. In the light of the early sun, she would not return to the woman that gave her the pain she never wanted. Of course, she was at fault, the blame spread like the summer heat wave.  


Sunrise was meant to bring a new day; change, but it only restarted the routine.  


Barbara brought her windows down, as the warm breeze filled her hair and her car. The beads that hung from her mirror made a melody that was drowned out by the music of her radio.   


“You still look as beautiful,” Ashley mentioned as they sat down for coffee. The cafe had enough people to make noise over the sounds of cups on plates. Her brown hair was the colour of fresh caramels, and it made her heart pick up. The way her green eyes looked at her, she once made her feel like Venus in her shell surrounded by angels, but now she felt like one of the bruised beauties in modern art.   


“Thank you, so do you,” she told her with a flash of teeth. Ashley took her coffee black with sugar; watched her pour a teaspoon of stars into the never ending void in the white mud. Her coffee looked like the colour of her skin in the white sundress.   


Ashley hummed when there was nothing to say. Barbara could only remember all the tunes she would lightly sing to her when the stars were high in the sky, and their skin glowed in the moonlight. At once she felt like porcelain, but the sun would rise and she would be relieved that they weren’t statues but flesh in the bed.  


How many times can they meet up, and she would still be hopelessly in love with the older woman? The earth had evolved since she kissed her lips and told her to never leave. Change was bound to happen, and she no longer slept in her bed until sunrise.   


The earth had evolved and her heart was stuck on stop. A ticking clock with a broken arm. She assumed Ashley’s heart was ticking like it should, moving forward with time. They were once in sync, but they’ve fallen out of it.  


In that morning, did she hope, that she could get her clock ticking forward again.   


In that morning, were the sun hung over them in the middle of the summer, at once she knew she was not strong enough.  


Barbara’s coffee had gone cold in her hands, her blue eyes as empty as Ashley’s mug. The older woman had stopped asking when will the colour return to her cheeks; when will her smiles be sincere. She continued with their coffee meetings like always. There was no laughter that echoed but a deafening silence that she could not shake her out of.  


Barbara was usually the first to leave. She took her dose and left, much to Ashley’s displeasure.   


“I hope things get better for you soon, Barbara,” Ashley spoke as she stood up and kissed her cheek before she left that morning. Barbara sat there for another twenty-three minutes as she sipped the rest of her coffee.  
  
She stared out the window, the sun indicating midday. She took a deep breath, she felt as if she hasn’t taken one all morning. She felt hopeless, and that life was leaving her everyday while her heart was stuck in its place. Ashley was now gone, erased herself from time and stored herself in her memories. She will love another. A man. A woman. She will love again.  
  
The birds were still chirping, and the cars were still passing. She didn’t want to cry again, she had done enough of it in the middle of a meeting; in front of Ashley.  
  
_“What happened to forever?_ ” Barbara cried.  
  
_“Forever doesn’t exist,”_ Ashley replied coldly on that January morning. It had chilled her and like winter, froze her in place.  
  
She replayed memories in her head, and if she thought deep enough, she could still taste her and smell her. Like the earth, they changed, like the earth, they have lost.  


Barbara stood up and walked out of the cafe, feeling the sun on her skin. Another morning had gone, and she could only wish she could move like the sun, only forwards, never backwards. She walked, let her legs guide her through the land. She was lost, but it wasn’t news. Her head was light, thinking about the clock she had for a heart. She thought about how many days had it been since she fell in love, and how many days since she had felt happy. She had cried more than one hundred days, but had many more days of laughter.  
  
“Barbara!” she heard someone cry her name. It scared her as she turned to see purple. It was Meg, who resembled a rainbow in a cloudless sky. “Funny to see you out here.”  
  
“I’ve been on a very long walk,” she admitted. Meg suddenly stopped smiling.  
  
“You’ve been crying again,” she said. Barbara went to touch her eyes, and they were overflowing with tears.  
  
“S-sorry,” she said as she pulled some tissue out of her pocket and wiped her eyes. Her mascara was smudging but it was too late to fix the damage.  


“C’mon sweetie, I’ll buy you ice cream,” Meg took her hand and did not let go. She was warm, warmer than the sun, and her blue jeans were lighter than the sky. She was alive, her heart was beating quickly in her wrist.

Barbara tightened her grip on Meg’s hand. She could not remember the last time she could feel a rush of energy in her veins. Her eyes were opened and no longer stung from her tears.  


In that moment, with a breath of fresh air, she knew that she was moving with the sun once again.


End file.
